Saturday, September 21, 2013

Querencia Rough Draft

   As I step out on the cool ground, a gust of win blows all my worries away. I walk out to the railing and close my eyes to forget about all the homework, projects, and essays flooding my desk. Opening my eyes, I stare into the blue sky, watching the fluffy clouds make their way through my view. As I walk through the area, the birds flee chirping on their way out. I look out in the sea of rooftops as the music from my phone comforts me. My mind is taken to another place where its free to do whatever it wants. I sat there, as if the world around me melted away taking all of my stress with it.

   My mind flashes back into my childhood days. Discovering this place as a little kid, I didn't know how much this place would mean to me. As a little kid, I felt like I was on top of the world looking down. I smelled every little flower my mom planted and I made memories with my Grandpa. With the bright, blazing sun, we captured a picture perfect memory. Even as a little girl, I knew this place was special.

   I remember having picnics and just relaxing under the cool night sky enjoying every last bit of my balcony. It was my little place. While other kids had a tree house, this balcony was all I needed. Some days, hours would past just being out there relaxing and having fun. It was like no one could see me or even hear me, it was just me being me.

   A blast of wind brings me back to the present day. My cluttered mind was now cleared and ready for the homework waiting to come. This place brings me what no other place can provide. This was a little home for my mind to relax and think. To someone else it was just a regular, plain balcony but to me it was more. No worries, stress, or drama could enter my mind. This is my special place, a home away from home.
 


 

3 comments:

  1. I liked how descriptive you were with your words describing your balcony and how special of a place it was to you. You should mention that the balcony is your special place in the beginning because I was a little confused where you were at at first.

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  2. YOU MIGHT WANT TO STATE EARLIER IN THE ESSAY WHAT YOUR SPECIAL PLACE ACTUALLY IS. YOU ALSO HAVE SOME SENTENCE ERROR "I smelled every little flower my mom planted and I made memories with my Grandpa." THIS IS A RUNON SENTENCE AND THE SECOND HALF DOESNT MAKE SENSE. MAKE SURE TO LOOK THROUGH YOUR ESSAY FOR MORE OF THESE ERRORS. ALSO PLEASE TRY EXPLAIN MORE ON WHY THIS PLACE IS SPECIAL, WHY THIS PLACE COMPARED TO OTHERS. MS(3)

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  3. I like good sensory details explaining the place and flashing back to your child hood. I got a little confused in the third paragraph

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