My grandpa was one of the main people in my life. I saw him first thing in the morning and the last at night. My dad told me stories about how much my grandpa loved me. My dad said he always pushed me around outside and made me my own hammock in the middle of the living room when I was still a baby. He was one of my heroes from day one. He always encouraged me to be the best I could possibly could but as I kid, I didn't really take it seriously. I just nodded my head to pretend like I understood. After we went on with our lives. I remember lazy afternoons with him playing cards, how we loved to play Wii bowling together, and how he made the lamest jokes but I still laughed to see him smile. He was definitely the best grandpa a girl could ever ask for.
During middle school, my grandpa was starting to get sick. He made constant visits to the doctors and the hospital. It was an endless feeling of fear if he was going to die or not. When I realized who serious it was, I started to help out. I went to each doctor appointment, made sure he took all his medications, took his blood pressure, and everything else in between. I was basically his nurse, but I was happy to be there for him. It was hard to balance out school and taking care of him, but I knew that it meant a lot to my family knowing that I was there. I thought he was getting better, they thought that he might even get home in time for Christmas, but the unthinkable happened Christmas morning.
My stomach twisted and turned all night. It felt like something wasn't right. I woke up like it was natural for me to be up at 4 in the morning. I heard talking in the hallway and I instantly knew something wasn't right. My dad told me, "We're going to the hospital, grandma called. Something happened with grandpa." My heart dropped, thinking of the worst. Pulling myself together, I got into the car hoping for the best.
We finally arrived at Kuakini Hospital. This place had become so familiar over the past weeks. I knew exactly where I needed to go. The elevator ride felt endless. I just wanted to get to him and prove that nothing was wrong. I stepped out of the elevator and saw my grandma sitting down, crying. He was gone. They told me "he's in a better place where he isn't suffering". This comforted me, but that fact he was gone still killed me. I couldn't cry because I felt like I wasn't allowed too. I felt the need to be the strong one to comfort everyone else. The only thing that was on my mind was making sure that everyone else was okay even if I wasn't.
A week later, my uncle who was planning my grandpa's funeral, asked me if I wanted to say anything at the funeral. Thinking that I had to, I accepted. That night I sat my desk, pencil and paper ready, thinking of my grandpa. When I thought about my grandpa, all I thought about was how strong he was. He moved our whole family to Hawaii from the Philippines hoping to find a better life. He taught me how to be strong just like him. He never frowned or cried, he just kept on going. He was definitely one of my heroes. He always smiled, cheered me up, and just made me happy. I remember playing cards at the hospital with him, watching TV together, and eating together every night. Thinking about all my memories with him made me so happy, but I felt a tear roll down my check. I smiled knowing that it was okay to miss him because I still had a part of him with me.
A month or so after, we had his funeral. Standing there at the podium, my main goal was to cheer to everybody up. I talked about how my grandpa was funny and always smiling. I looked to my family to see smiles on their faces. I don't think I have ever felt so good in my entire life. After everything was said and done, my family came back to our house. We talked all night about my grandpa. I smiled and laughed all night long with the people I love while hearing about my grandpa and his long, happy life.
During this whole process, I learned so much. As a kid, I thought I was responsible, but I didn't really know what that meant. At school, I did just enough. I didn't really go above and beyond what I could do, I just made it to get the grade. I never really put my full effort because my teachers thought it was good enough. My grandpa always taught me to excel in life, whether it was in school or anything else. I didn't realize what that meant until after he was gone. I started putting everything I got into everything I did, whether it was school or dance. Saying goodbye to one of the most important people in my life was one of the hardest things to do, but it made me stronger. I knew that losing him meant a new chapter in my life. I wouldn't see him every morning and night and I would have to survive without his support. My grandpa was a strong, happy man, and now it was my turn to follow in his footsteps. He's my motivation to be the best person I can be everyday. He went through so many hardships, like moving our whole family to Hawaii with only having a 4th grade education behind him. He didn't know what was going to happen, but he tried his best and look where it got him, a long, happy life with a loving family. I don't know what was going happen next after he was gone, but I know that my grandpa would want the best for me. With him in my heart, I'm ready for what comes next.
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